Give the Best

Once upon a time, there's a little boy with a bucket of marble. When he was playing with his marbles, one little girl came to him, and say:

"Hi, do you want a bucket of candy...?" The little girl showed a bucket of candy... The little boy stopped playing. He saw a colorful candies in her hand, look so yummy. He's thinking for a while, and say:

"Ok, I want them. What shall I give to you in exchange of your candies?"

The girl answered, "Em... What about all your marbles...?"

"Ok, deal...!" The boy answered, he's so excited...

But, the boy cheated. When he gave the bucket of marble, he kept 3 best marbles for himself. He receieved one bucket of candy in exchange. At first, he was very happy. Now, He has a bucket of candy and also 3 best marbles, while the girl only has one bucket murbles minus 3 best marbles. He thought he's smart.

At night, when he was in bed, he hides the 3 best marbles under the pillow. Then when he's going to sleep... all of a sudden, something pop up in his mind. Something that really bother his mind... "What if... what if... that little girl also hide the best candies from me...? What if, she hide more candies...?" He can't sleep. He's no longer happy though he has 3 marbles and a bucket of candy.

---

Many times, I do the same like the little boy did. I keep my best from God, and keep wondering, thinking... Are give YOUR best to my live, Lord...? Why everything happen in me seem not the best.

But, now, I know... If I give my best to God, then everything best will happen to me. For whatever happen to me, good or bad, I'll have peace in my heart... Because I know exactly, that God give me the best if I also give the best. Lord, I'm not gonna cheat you... I'll give my best to YOU.

There were times...

[apology if you can't have something positive from this posting]

There were times... (many times, I think) when I reallyyy... realllyyy... want so bad that my normal life back.

What is my normal life? Freedom. I used to have my own time. I used to go wherever I want. I used to be a person that do whatever I want and won't do whatever I don't want. Now, it's all robbed by this M* C** university. No freedom anymore... And after couples months, it's not going to be easier, but it's going to be tougher and tougher. So stressful by what happened recently... works, study, relationship with other... All these things are coming and ruin my life.

I was asking to myself if all successful people must have done all these stressful things. I really want to ask them how did they finally survive. It is hard... Very hard, indeed.

This proves one thing. I'm an ordinary human being... with all the weaknesses and feel like want to give up many times.

Ah, ok then... I glad I still a living human being... and ya, I think I still can have thousand reasons to smile. I think I'm quite sure that there are people who love me unconditionally. I think I know that at least thousand youth read my books and blessed by it. Ya, I think I know that my life is so meaningful, regardless I have many problems and I know exactly that all my problems are finally solved beautifully at the end. Thanks God for the grace.

Well, my greatest honor will always be to serve my Lord and King.

We're designed to be... (Part I)

Fishes are designed to live in the water. Your cute dog, since the beginning of the creation, is also designed to walk on the land. The fishes can’t protest to God and force themselves to walk on the land. So is your cute dog, can’t protest to God then he builds a wood house on deep blue sea and play around with nemo, the clown fish. Obviously, it breaks their design.

So are men. Every homo sapiens (read: MAN) on earth, has the same design. As long as we walk on the same earth, as long as we walk under the same sun, as long as we breathe the same compound called oxygen, we are all have something in common… Same design from God. Hei, wait..! Isn’t that every human on earth are unique? Ya, we all are unique. But, if you’re not a mutant, if your DNA doesn’t experience mutation, if you’re not alien, and… if you’re not buried below the land, then you’re still a human with design from Your Creator.

Ok, we’re designed by God. So what? So what if I break my design? Well… you can ask this question to your cute dog after you throw him in the swimming pool and let him survive for 30 minutes (which is break his design)… Or ask your koi fish after he sunbathes for 1 hour at a very beautiful beach. How it feel? Is it nice?

What happen if we’re always living according to our first design? The answer is yet very simple. We will live in full capacity and all of our potential can be exploded. Exploded into what? Into the best singer the world ever had, into the best writer who wrote best selling books, into the best doctor who had great contribution in medic, into the best speaker who bless many people, into the best scientist who had many invention that make the world better, into… into… into… Wow!

The explosion are start from a very small material. That material is called “seed”. It’s so small… Very small and sometimes we don’t even realize if we already had it inside us. At the moment we breathe the air, the seed is already there…

How to explode seed inside us? Simply walk according to our design. And the 1M question will be: What is it?

Let the journey begins… [to be continued]

Love's Tendency

I’ve checked. Webster's New World Essential Vocabulary (2005) defines word “tendency” as: propensity to move in a certain direction, an apparent moving toward some particular purpose. In Windra’s version, tendency is: hidden intention. Ha? Ya, that’s tendency in my version.

For example: John is willing to help Jane because he (John, not Jane) likes her sister (Jane’s sister, not John’s sister). In this case, John definitely is categorized as a tendentious man (have certain intention).

Or, I’ve seen a lot of guy who have tendency toward his girlfriend:
• A girlfriend is a daughter of a big boss who own multi companies. The guy gives his love with tendency so that he can get promote faster in one of the company.
• A girlfriend, can satisfy her boyfriend sex’s desire. If the guy said the he loves his girlfriend, means he has (love’s) tendency, and it could be sex’s satisfaction.
• There’s a guy who has super duper rich girlfriend. This guy willing to be her boyfriend because he has (love’s) tendency. You-know-what’s-the-tendency.
• A girlfriend comes from royal family, or high social status family. His boyfriend’s love could be tendentious, so he can raise his family status if he merry her.

Girls, can you feel guy’s love’s tendency (or experience it before)? I’ve seen a lot, not only to girl, but it also happens to the guys.
• The girl has a boyfriend who can take her for shopping whenever she wants and buy whatever she appoints. Very difficult for me to believe if the girl said that she loves her boyfriend with no tendency at all.
• The girl has a cool boyfriend, a very popular basketball player (or popular singer, popular dancer, popular CGL, popular what-ever-you-mention-la). He’s a dream guy! The girl’s tendency to be his girlfriend, so she can also be popular.

And, here is the $1M question, suppose you have a girlfriend (means you are a guy, kay?), do you have tendency toward your girlfriend? Or, if you have boyfriend, do you have particular tendency toward your boyfriend? You have 3 seconds to think and answer... (and okay, 10 seconds if you’re still single... because, I know that it’s quite hard to think or imagine something that you don’t have). Time starts... Now. Tick... tock... tick... tock...

Then I think for a moment... I was wondering... Is there untendentious love? Is there someone who can love without any tendency? Is it okay if we love someone for particular tendency (hidden intention)? I prefer to love someone for a reason rather than for a tendency. For me, reason and tendency are very different word.

Love for a tendency: “I love you, so I can...” [have a lot money, be popular, have sex’s satisfaction, raise my family status, etc]

Love for a reason: “I love you because you’re ...” [so handsome, very caring person, very kind and patient, mature and loving, etc]

Can you feel the difference? Reason is something permanent. It’s already in your girl/boyfriend and you don’t have to fight to get that. When you love him/her and s/he loves you too, you’ll automatically have it.

Tendency doesn’t work like that. The person must work, must fight, must spend time to have it. Let say... You love someone for particular tendency, say... you want this super duper rich guy’s money. First, you don’t get the money yet. Then you do, work, act, spend time, make strategy and love him with one thousand one ways so you can have the money from him. When you get the money, you feel that you don’t want lose it. So, you trade your love with the money. You love this guy because a tendency... because you have hidden intention.

Can you feel the difference between tendency and reason? Tendency means must fight to get what you intent (there’s still a possibility you don’t get what you intent). That’s why Webster wrote the definition of tendency as: “moving toward some particular purpose”. In other side, reason has no tendency at all.

If you believe in God, I have something to think about. If you don’t believe in God, you just can skip this paragraph. It’ll be meaningless for you. If you said that you love God, is it because you have tendency or reason? If you have tendency, you’ll say, “I love God so that God can keeeeeeeep bless me, so I can be richer and richer, so HE can heal all my sickness...” That’s tendency. Most probably, you’re not going to love God anymore if you can’t have what you intent. If you love God because the reason, you’ll say, “I love God because YOU love me first, You gave me live, You put me in around the best people, I love God for all the goodness YOU’ve given to me.” That’s reason. I believe, with that reason, it’ll be very difficult not to love God. But tendency is very fragile.

So, if there’s a girl or guy who love you... which is do you prefer? Love for tendency or love for reason? There must be a reason or tendency. I prefer the reason a lot. I don’t want a girl loving me for a tendency... She’s willing to be my girlfriend so that she has transportation to take her go shopping (do I look like a cab driver?) or she’s willing to be my girlfriend so she doesn’t have to spend money on dinner (do I look like restaurant cook?).

If you love someone for a reason, fine! And make sure that will be a good reason. Let say, you love a guy because he is so mature that can lead you to be a better person, you love a guy because he can treat you like a lady, you love a guy because he’s a faithful guy, you love a guy because he’s so loving and caring to you. No tendency when you love for reason.

(Anyway, I’ll love a girl because she’s smart, talkative, and can bright my days)

Wacthing my movie

[serious mode: ON]

If you read this posting in the morning, then wait until night... If you read this posting while you're working, then wait... If you read this posting while you're having your break time, then wait... Wait until you've finished all your job today... Wait until you're on the your bed, until you close your eyes and ready to sleep... Ya, wait...

When you've finished all your works today, when you lay down your body on the bed, you start to close your eyes... then imagine... there's a big screen right in front of you just like you're watching a movie. Imagine you watch the movie in VVIP seat... You're the only one in that theater... Only you. Nobody else. Oh, btw, the theater is full AC with high quality stereo.

The movie begins. It displays the players name... Hey, wait...! Your name shows up as one of the stars... The list goes on... Your friend's names, the other people's name that you met today also show up. This is interesting... What's the movie all about?

Then you notice that the title of the movie is "What I've done today".

The movie starts with your first second when you open your eyes today... You woke up in the morning... The movie keep rolling. You see yourself on that movie. You see yourself talking to your friends, to your colleagues, to your boss, to your parents. Every single word you say, you hear are recorded... Even when you're alone, when you think about something, every detail of your thought today, is clearly displayed chronologically. And now, you're watching it. You see what you've been done on the school or office today. You see yourself interact with that people until this time. Everything is displayed. You almost finish watch this movie.... What a nice movie.

All of a sudden, right before the movie ends... you realize one thing. There's a PERSON in that theater. HE's the one who play the movie so you can watch. Hey, that means... HE also watching that movie with you... Oh, SOMEONE is actually watching the movie with you.

The question is...

Are you proud? Are you proud if that SOMEONE watching your today's movie with you? Can you say, "Hey, I'm proud of what I've done today... I've done my best..."? or you're ashamed and wish that nobody watch that movie...

When I finish watching that movie, The last thing I want to hear from HIM before I sleep is a very gentle voice, whispering in my ear... "Well done, MY son. I'M so proud by what you've done today... Could you do better than today for ME tomorrow, please...?" Then I'll smile and answer, "Yes Lord. I will do the best for YOU." What a peaceful moment before you sleep...

Buffet vs Restaurant

Definition of Buffet:

• A counter or sideboard from which food and drink are served or may be bought.
• Food laid out in this way, to which diners serve themselves.

(source: wikitionary.org)

Ok, i'll make it clear by my own definition.

Definition of buffet (Windra's version):
You pay once a fixed price and you serve-yourself, you may eat ALL you desire, you can eat as much as you want. Warning: Not recomended for those who are on diet.

In ordinary restaurant, you order your meals first. You wait until the meals is served... While you're waiting for the meals, you can enjoy the orchestra of your stomach worm. Longer you wait, louder the orchestra. When the meals is served right in front of your face, you may say grace and ask the players to stop the orchestra. Enjoy your meals. After you finish, you must ask for the bills and pay that bills. This is very important part friends... If you don't want the restaurant owner throws the plates into your head, then you must pay the bill. Is it clear?

So, why do I write bout the buffet and ordinary restaurant? Is it because I'm hungry? Ok, i'm a little bit hungry now, especially after finish writing the buffet paragraph one. I'm thinking to eat fried rice and... never mind, I'll have my meals later... Where was I? Oh, ya... Buffet and ordinary restaurant.

If I ask you, which one do you prefer? A buffet or ordinary restaurant? What's your answer...? You pay once then you can eat ALL, as much as you want OR... you order then you eat what you order and pay according to your order. The more you eat, of course, you have to pay more.

Frankly speaking, I prefer buffet rather than ordinary restaurant. In buffet, I don't have to wait for the meals while they're prepared, because it's already prepared. Just pay once then I have the freedom to choose the foods. I have the freedom to eat whatever I want. I have the freedom to eat as much as I want. I have the freedom to stay as long as I want. The keyword is FREEDOM. BUT let me ask you a question, how do you get that freedom? Yes, YOU must PAY first. Is it cheap? NO! Usually buffet is more expensive than ordinary restaurant.

Ok now... What's this all about?

It's about your own life, friends. When you grow up, when you have your own responsibility to make your own future, when you have the freedom to make your own decision... It's time for you to choose whether you're going to eat buffet or ordinary restaurant.

A lot people like to be "ordinary restaurant". They have a lot dreams and wishes. They wish, they have more time with their family. They wish, they can have good vacation. They wish, they can have fancy car or nice house. They wish, they have a lot money in their bank account. They wish, they can have a healthy and rich lifestyle. They wish... (you may fill with your wishes, "they" could be you). But, what happen to them? Well, they must check how much money they have in their pocket. Just like if you eat in an ordinary restaurant. You want this one, that one... but, once again, if you don't want the owner of the restaurant throw plates into your only head you have, you must order the food very careful... More foods you order, more money you have to pay. The "ordinary restaurant" people also like that. Not all their wishes are fulfilled. They must very careful to make priority which wishes they want to be fulfilled. Why? Simply because it's "ordinary restaurant". The fulfilled wishes depend on how much money do they have. You got the concept of "ordinary restaurant" people type?

What about the "buffet" type? I like this one. They pay once, and then they can enjoy whatever they want. They can have whatever lifestyle they want. They can go wherever they want. They can have time with their family as long as they want. They can buy whatever the "ordinary restaurant" people only dream of. The buffet concept. Pay once and you-can-have-it-all.

Which life do you want? "Ordinary restaurant" or "buffet"?

I don't want to spend the rest of my life in "ordinary restaurant". I want that buffet... And I need to buy the buffet ticket. Is it expensive? Yes, buffet always more expensive than ordinary restaurant. Because buffet offers freedom. If you can't afford, forget about buffet. Ordinary restaurants always open for everybody.

How much the buffet ticket cost? I tell you, it's expensive. You must work harder and longer than "ordinary restaurant" people do. You must learn more than "ordinary restaurant" people do. You must sleep less than "ordinary people" do. You must have more perseverance than "ordinary people" have. That's the cost. Once you pay the ticket... welcome to the buffet club.

But, the last question is, where's the buffet address? Say, if you do whatever it takes to buy the buffet ticket, the question is... where's the place to go to buy buffet ticket? Very wasting time if you've done whatever it takes to buy the buffet ticket, but you don't know where to buy, right?

I have several addresses... you can contact me if you need... hehe2...