Love's Tendency

I’ve checked. Webster's New World Essential Vocabulary (2005) defines word “tendency” as: propensity to move in a certain direction, an apparent moving toward some particular purpose. In Windra’s version, tendency is: hidden intention. Ha? Ya, that’s tendency in my version.

For example: John is willing to help Jane because he (John, not Jane) likes her sister (Jane’s sister, not John’s sister). In this case, John definitely is categorized as a tendentious man (have certain intention).

Or, I’ve seen a lot of guy who have tendency toward his girlfriend:
• A girlfriend is a daughter of a big boss who own multi companies. The guy gives his love with tendency so that he can get promote faster in one of the company.
• A girlfriend, can satisfy her boyfriend sex’s desire. If the guy said the he loves his girlfriend, means he has (love’s) tendency, and it could be sex’s satisfaction.
• There’s a guy who has super duper rich girlfriend. This guy willing to be her boyfriend because he has (love’s) tendency. You-know-what’s-the-tendency.
• A girlfriend comes from royal family, or high social status family. His boyfriend’s love could be tendentious, so he can raise his family status if he merry her.

Girls, can you feel guy’s love’s tendency (or experience it before)? I’ve seen a lot, not only to girl, but it also happens to the guys.
• The girl has a boyfriend who can take her for shopping whenever she wants and buy whatever she appoints. Very difficult for me to believe if the girl said that she loves her boyfriend with no tendency at all.
• The girl has a cool boyfriend, a very popular basketball player (or popular singer, popular dancer, popular CGL, popular what-ever-you-mention-la). He’s a dream guy! The girl’s tendency to be his girlfriend, so she can also be popular.

And, here is the $1M question, suppose you have a girlfriend (means you are a guy, kay?), do you have tendency toward your girlfriend? Or, if you have boyfriend, do you have particular tendency toward your boyfriend? You have 3 seconds to think and answer... (and okay, 10 seconds if you’re still single... because, I know that it’s quite hard to think or imagine something that you don’t have). Time starts... Now. Tick... tock... tick... tock...

Then I think for a moment... I was wondering... Is there untendentious love? Is there someone who can love without any tendency? Is it okay if we love someone for particular tendency (hidden intention)? I prefer to love someone for a reason rather than for a tendency. For me, reason and tendency are very different word.

Love for a tendency: “I love you, so I can...” [have a lot money, be popular, have sex’s satisfaction, raise my family status, etc]

Love for a reason: “I love you because you’re ...” [so handsome, very caring person, very kind and patient, mature and loving, etc]

Can you feel the difference? Reason is something permanent. It’s already in your girl/boyfriend and you don’t have to fight to get that. When you love him/her and s/he loves you too, you’ll automatically have it.

Tendency doesn’t work like that. The person must work, must fight, must spend time to have it. Let say... You love someone for particular tendency, say... you want this super duper rich guy’s money. First, you don’t get the money yet. Then you do, work, act, spend time, make strategy and love him with one thousand one ways so you can have the money from him. When you get the money, you feel that you don’t want lose it. So, you trade your love with the money. You love this guy because a tendency... because you have hidden intention.

Can you feel the difference between tendency and reason? Tendency means must fight to get what you intent (there’s still a possibility you don’t get what you intent). That’s why Webster wrote the definition of tendency as: “moving toward some particular purpose”. In other side, reason has no tendency at all.

If you believe in God, I have something to think about. If you don’t believe in God, you just can skip this paragraph. It’ll be meaningless for you. If you said that you love God, is it because you have tendency or reason? If you have tendency, you’ll say, “I love God so that God can keeeeeeeep bless me, so I can be richer and richer, so HE can heal all my sickness...” That’s tendency. Most probably, you’re not going to love God anymore if you can’t have what you intent. If you love God because the reason, you’ll say, “I love God because YOU love me first, You gave me live, You put me in around the best people, I love God for all the goodness YOU’ve given to me.” That’s reason. I believe, with that reason, it’ll be very difficult not to love God. But tendency is very fragile.

So, if there’s a girl or guy who love you... which is do you prefer? Love for tendency or love for reason? There must be a reason or tendency. I prefer the reason a lot. I don’t want a girl loving me for a tendency... She’s willing to be my girlfriend so that she has transportation to take her go shopping (do I look like a cab driver?) or she’s willing to be my girlfriend so she doesn’t have to spend money on dinner (do I look like restaurant cook?).

If you love someone for a reason, fine! And make sure that will be a good reason. Let say, you love a guy because he is so mature that can lead you to be a better person, you love a guy because he can treat you like a lady, you love a guy because he’s a faithful guy, you love a guy because he’s so loving and caring to you. No tendency when you love for reason.

(Anyway, I’ll love a girl because she’s smart, talkative, and can bright my days)